we're blogging at a bar
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
