I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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