wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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