So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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