Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
