it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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