Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
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I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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