ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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