you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
