i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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