I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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