Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
