I wish I could punch you in the face.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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