So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
