dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
