Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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