My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
