Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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