at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
