You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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