hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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