Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
