Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize