Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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