Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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