Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
