i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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