Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize