the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
