Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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