my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
