i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
one might say we're banned from that church
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
