This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
