I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus