Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.