Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp