so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox