so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
and she was petting her beer can
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
