Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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