i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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