try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
