I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
