I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
