Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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