she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
