Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize