The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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