so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
3 2 1 whiskey
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
