Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
