Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
