My boss' voice literally gives me gas
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.