I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours