New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.