Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.