Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.