I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
