Buhtt sex?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
