I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
