I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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