I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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