I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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