dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
