its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
