awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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