I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
