At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
