She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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