he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you never un-have a 4some
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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