Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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