I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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