Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
